You can neither prevent nor control

Could my blog entries leave negative impression to her? What is the reason? hmphhhh… what have I done to lost another chance? aiks…. should have delete all the depressing entries before I show her my blog…..ok, I am quite sure the “Confession” post can really brings negative senses to her. Arghhhh, efforts wasted? I guess so… (I’m whispering to myself, shhhhhh~ don’t ask.) =)

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Anyway, I have just watched “The Time Traveler’s Wife” in the cinema! I don’t find it confusing at all like what others have said, I love every single bits of it! haha. I can hardly don’t like a movie though.

I haven’t finished the book yet, so I couldn’t tell whether the story is exactly the same. It is romantic, I just couldn’t imagine how strong is the love between Henry and Clare. I can’t help but feeling real sad when Henry knows he is dying and he’s going to leave Clare… but he can always travel back, as in to be alive again… cheh~ lolz

It is worth watching, and the movie has motivated me to continue reading the book right away. haha, I neglect it for days already, how bad…

I rate 4.5 out of 5 for this movie. haha! I deduct the 0.5 because I want more from the movie except love, if you get what I mean.

Ok, next movie would be 2012! My movie kaki is not going to watch 2012 with me though.=(  No worry, Hoo Gee Pang, let’s plan it! =D

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错过

我有一段很长的时间没浏览 亦惠的部落格了。

刚从她在“面书”里的留言，得知很快地，她就要到中国继续深造了。恭喜恭喜!

两个小时前，我才又好奇满满地，点击了她部落格网址。

短短的两个小时里，我大约将我之前没读过的文章，仔细又潦草地读了一读（视题材吸引度而定, 哈哈）。才知道，我错过了身边朋友的近况，也错过了他们当时的心情写照，更错过了很多很多出色的文章（我花很多的时间读别人的部落格，却忽略了自己朋友的生活，真是的… )

 

 

 

人就是这样(至少我知道我是这样), 往往要当事情发生了，才会恍然大悟地对某些人或某些事又开始关心起来。

其实，那人一直都在，那事情一直都在发生；怪只怪自己的漠不关心。

对于自己的爱莫能助，深感无奈，也十分心痛。

我还有很多要学，学会面对、学会接受、学会解决、更要学会谅解。

Confession

I reckon I am living my worst life ever right here, right now, having a dramatically indecent period. I never reach the top, yet, I feel the pain of being at the bottom. Yes, I call this the bottom, because I don’t want it to be worsened. I know, I could be the most pessimistic person you could ever meet on earth. No money, no lover, no life, no nothing! Yeah, I know you people will surely scolding right at my face that I should be content to my situation now, I should stop blaming. But hey, let me be, for once. Just, let me burst. 

Look, I never have been rushed in getting myself a job, previously. 

For the first few months, people will usually ask “Hey, how is your job hunting? Take your own sweet time to find, ok?” How comforting. However, 5-month later, they will eventually turn to a higher pitch asking “What?! You haven’t had got yourself a job?? Oh well, don’t rush…. Ok? You’ll get one….” 

I don’t find it strange for the change in expression. I could give exactly the same response for someone who spends so long doing nothing at home. 

FYI, I applied number of jobs and went for different interviews. I got offers from two out of the many companies I applied, but their offers were just too ‘good’ for me to accept. 

Frankly, I feel so bad for disappointing my dad. We had fights for a several times on my job scouting. I always think that why on earth he wants to control everything I do? Why must I go for bank job just because he insisted that’s the best job for me? Deep down inside, I know he’s worrying that why until now I couldn’t get myself to work. I know he wants the best for me. 

I don’t know why, but I’ll feel so sorry to my friends who being so encouraging all this while. They are waiting for me to treat them a meal with my first paid. How could I make this simple request to keep pending? I don’t find their anticipation as a pressure; I found it as my motivation. The more they encourage me, the more I don’t want to disappoint them. 

I can’t help but started to doubt about my ability. I know no one is perfect, but I just couldn’t imagine how bad I am. 

A minute ago, I talked to a friend. I think I feel a little bit better after reading the quotation he sent me.

Two elderly women are at a Catskills mountain resort, and one of ‘em says: “Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.” The other one says, “Yeah, I know, and such … small portions.” Well, that’s essentially how I feel about life. Full of loneliness and misery and suffering and unhappiness, and it’s all over much too quickly. – Annie Hall

I hope all the loneliness, unhappiness could really get out of my life soon. 

I want this to be the worst period of my life, nothing can be worsen than now! because I just want it to be better and better. 

暗示

Thanks to Astro, I have got the chance to watch 2009年TVB8全球华人新秀歌唱大赛 that I missed for so many times.

I was extremely excited throughout the show as usual, as in singing along, jumping around, clapping hands (I really did and I don’t know why I’m so hyperactive, you probably wont wanna watch show like this with me….><).

Anyhow, I am so impressed by the performance of our Malaysia team. Quality assured I tell you, hahaha.

I've fallen to quite some songs after the show. See, I am so easy to be satisfied. =)

I especially love the song named 暗示. I melted right away….

Awwwwww, I like this song so much. and look at Xuan Zi’s hair! Nice!!! thumbs up! If only my face shape allows me to keep this kind of hair….

Later on, I found out this song is originally sang by Coco Lee. She sings it rather well! *melted* I love both version.

This is a must-learn song!!! *determined*

Invite me to sing K! You! yes, you, invite me! *pointing at you* =D

I want to jog in this park

I THINK I am interested in photography, hahaha, why I think? cos I am really sure about this.

I like photoshop, this one I quite sure.

People said professional photographer (most of them) anti- photoshop, which I found this quite true.

Last Saturday, I slept over at Yinky’s room, for a purpose.  

#1: Yinky, look at this. Nostalgia? hahaha. So cute~!

#2: Shared my McD breakfast with the ginger man on the next morning.

#3: Professional make-up tools.

#4: Transformation in progress.

 
#5: Not professional at all by just looking at the way me holding the camera. *blah* 

Have you got a clearer idea of what the stay over for, based on the photos shown above?

 #6: See the reflector? hahaha. What do you expect for the first photo? warming up!  

Oh yeah, we were having a photo-taking workshop (sort of) in the Taman Tun Dr. Ismail park.

It was my first time been there.  The park is huge! The greenery, the fountain, the playground, the people, the monkeys, the sunlight… everything is perfect! I like this park. =)

There were together 4 photographers (included me, hehe), 2 models and 2 ‘nannies’, hahahaha going for the photo shooting.  

I used my point and shoot camera throughout the shooting.

I would say that it is not easy, I took photos based on my insticnt (=.=) with very little guidance, as everyone is busy taking their own photos.

I made the same mistakes for most of the photos, that I don’t even notice from the beginning till the end, not until my cousin pointed it out during the review session. >.<

I won’ tell what are my weaknesses beforehand, let’s just look at some of the photos I took, which I thought wow! peggy, you can take great photos huh? *blush* *embarraesed*

#7: Hou Sai ah!

 #8: Purposely captured the photographer, I mind you.  

#9 

#10: My favourite.

#11: Random photo.

#12: Probably my cousin will complain on the colour that I altered. Vintage, I like. hahaha

#13: Flying~!

#14: Another model.

Ok, that’s all I wanna show. Can you spot what’s my problem in photo taking? of course, I chose those presentable to show. hahaha.

Well, I quite agree with the comment my cousin given to me. He said that most of my photos were out of focus, that the background is more stand out compare to my subject, as in the model. Also, I used to chop the leg or the finger of the models…. Alright, take note and I’ll be more aware about these next time.

#15: Nude face photographer + Fully make up model.

#16: Group photo. =)

I enjoy the photo shooting a lot, for me to gain experience in photo taking as well as exploring such a nice park.

#17: Anah, obviously this photo wasn’t taken by me. Credit given to Yuen Kwee, the cousin. His camera is superb! Can’t wait to get myself a DSLR.

I learnt something and I got sunburn after the workshop. Worth it, I would say.

Lesson learnt: Apply sunblock, pay attention to my focus, prepared enough of battery.

Till then.

心 放空了

寂寞,好了

Insomnia is a friend

Edited: Now only I realized that this theme didn’t state the time I publish my entry, not a good theme, yet I’ll still using it. And now is 4 in the morning, I should have dragged myself back to the bed again.

I am widely awake, unwillingly, at this hour.

Could it be caffein overdosed (I drank chinese tea and coffee in the afternoon)? Or could it be the aching lower back? Or could it be other little things that lingering around in my mind? Or could it be going to bed on an empty stomach (not really empty though)? Or am I merely hoping for your reply regarding to the feelings I have poured few hours ago?

Frankly, I am totally clueless why insomnia hits.  

I am now browsing through facebook aimlessly, staring at the vacancies printed in the newspaper blankly, listening to songs in youtube and chatting with an insomnia friend in facebook. Multitasking huh?

Here, the song of the day.

Who are my five people?

WHITE. THERE WAS ONLY WHITE NOW. No earth, no sky, no horizon between the two. Only a pure and silent white, as noiseless as the deepest snowfall at the quietest sunrise.
- Mitch Albom -

Phew, finally I have successfully done with this book- “The five people you meet in heaven” by Mitch Albom. It took me almost A YEAR to finish, one year for a book….no joke! Nope, it is not as thick as you could imagine. I’m just a slow reader, real slow. In fact, I don’t like to read. But, I have to admit that I admire Mitch Albom! I like his writting so much!!! His words are amazing and captivating. I surely will read it again some other days in the future…. *crossing finger* And Chardi has given me “Tuesdays with Morrie” by Albom as my birthday present. Thank you! I will start reading once my albom’s mood is here. hahaha. Craps…

hmmmm, what’s next? I need love, I might go for “The time traveler’s wife“or shall I read “Confessions of a shopaholic” first? Anyhow, I might take another half a year, probably, to finish another book. Arghhh, whoever reads book at my speed, we can really be friend, seriously. hahaha.

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